There is Nothing like Death

I have run from this pain for three long years

But now it's time to face my fears

There is nothing like death

To demonstrate Love

The kind that's only

Sent from above.

There is nothing like death 

To clarify confusion 

Highlighting Truth

Dispelling illusion

There is nothing like death 

To cause sorrow and pain

Ripping hearts open again and again 

But in this wretched ripping

In the gaping wound

Of void of self

Grows More.

More 

     Love.

More

     Patience.

More 

     Wisdom 

More.......

Heart.

So when it rips again, the muscles are stronger

But the bleeding, goes on ever so much longer.

There is nothing like death 

To make noble each breath

Until silence screams in your ears.

And the silence it thickens

As your own heartbeat quickens

Your soul reaches out

Divine seeking Divine

I'm forever yours

And you're forever mine

There is nothing like death.

It Wasn't Supposed to Be Like This

 IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS.

Gaping hole

Empty arms

Solo parenting.

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Walking alone

Scared of the dark

Searching for Love.

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Telling our daughter

You don't have a body

Daddy lives in the Spirit World.

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Screaming in anger

Losing my shit

Sobbing and shaking

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Turning on TV

Sitting her down

Walking away to work

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Your love was perfect

My heart was so happy

Our daughter was born

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

You suffered in pain

The doctors, they came

Cancer to blame.

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

We'll fix you, they said

But our hearts filled with dread

Knowing, deep down, what neither of us said.

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Four months is too young

To understand lungs

Or death.

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

I screamed to my sister

And railed at the universe

But still, my world shattered.

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

You had the wisdom

I was the idiot

What fool decided to make me sole parent?

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

The things people said

Made me scream in my head

"What kind of God would let you be dead????"

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

If I lay down in the snow

Eventually I'll go 

But no

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Baby Girl needs her Mama

She's lived enough pain

It's time to stand up

Start walking again

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

I walked almost blindly

Acted too kindly

But stubbornly kept going

Tripping and falling

As predators kept calling

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Wolves in sheep clothing

Are never your friends

Take out the trash 

Hold on to your cash

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

New friends walk beside

Step in and don't hide

Embrace your truth

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

A village springs up

And a burden is shared

Experienced moms

Step in all prepared

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

And so they gave respite

Knowing full well

That life up to now was just living hell

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Gently, with love

They taught better ways

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

The yelling could cease

Joy could increase

Stress could decrease

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Slowly, with time

I emerged from the grime

And set down this rhyme

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS